Mashood

Mashood was born in the Middle East and has lived in Canada for most of his life. He is grateful to have lived in Canada. He has a large support of family and friends. Recently, Mashood did the grouse grind for the first time. Mashood has always been active and ambitious. He has also been actively involved in religion and sport activities. He has volunteered and worked in the community. When he was a teenager, he won an award for overcoming obstacles for academic achievement from his secondary school.  Mashood is now thirty. Mashood’s goal is to study law or to do a joint degree in public and business administration.

I always have been a person who has had an active lifestyle. I have played sports, volunteered in the community, as well as I went to school and worked at entry level jobs. I wanted to share my story to influence people to contribute to society and not to be discouraged from challenge in life. I will share about my difficulties in early life to recovery with a supported network of people from family to therapist. Importantly, I have learned life has challenges. However, I have also learned that you can give a man a fish, and you feed him for the day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. I have experience success and setback, but always try to learn from my mistakes.

I was born in Karachi, Pakistan. When I was one years old, I would move to Abu Dhabi in United Arab of Emirates.  I would come to Canada when I was five years old. I remember growing up poor, but my immediate and extended family would become wealthier. Moreover, my first language I learned was Urdu, which I learned from my parents. In school, I learned English through ESL courses. I would never become too fluent in Urdu, but my English did improve over time.

I will explain now how my school and work life has affected my Illness. I grew up with few friends outside of my culture. Also in my childhood, I struggled and got into fights at school. Whenever I got into detention, my mother would come from work to pick me up. Fortunately, my mom would never be mad at me.  It was early symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Moreover, I would fail grade two and had to repeat it. I was naïve and students would insult me. At elementary school, I use to enjoy sports. Moreover, as I got older, my father would start to watch hockey with me; I would also go see his real estate business, which was secondary method for him to make income.

One day, when I was nine, my grandfather would take me to a religious school on the weekend. I grew up not being religious. Religion would influence me to become a more ethical person. Before Religion, in elementary school, I use to lie, swore, and steal.  Also, throughout my life, I have read the Quran; which is a religious text for Islam. The first word revealed in the Quran is an Arabic word called Iqra, which means to read. This word has motivated me to keep reading to learn. I have found religion keeps me optimistic that I can improve. When I prayed, my energy level would improve and found that it was easier to do activities. I have found religion to be a calming feeling.
As I got older, I was diagnosed for schizophrenia, and life would become harder. I have hallucinated both visually and auditory. As a young adult, I would hear strange voices of my mom and father’s voices as I woke up from bed. Also, I have seen religious figures and heard evil screams when waking from sleep.  In my early childhood, I remember my first hallucination. I was an eight year old boy. I had watched a scary movie. It was a movie about killing and burying people. When I went to sleep, I looked out of my window and saw three people digging dirt. I was scared and ran into my parents’ room and I told them what I saw. It would be my first hallucination at a young age.

In secondary school, I got discouraged that I may not graduate. I started to get angry outburst in class. I was having speech impairment and decreasing memorization skill. I had trouble concentrating at what the teacher said. I was unrealistic what I will accomplish in the future after school. My printing was ineligible. Furthermore, I had problem doing practical skill for work jobs during high school.

Looking back, I wish I had been diagnosed earlier; so I would have had lesser symptoms. Most of the symptoms occurred when I was at Steveston Secondary. However, a strong support structure kept me in the right path.

When, I was diagnosed; I was introduced to child psychiatrist. He told me that I had concentration problem and that I would need medication to improve from it. I would meet with him about once a month. I would meet with him with my parents. I was told by my parents not to talk about my illness due to the stigma in my culture. When I research the medication, I learned that I had schizophrenia. The original medication I was on first would cause me to be sleepy in afternoons and also caused weight gain. Later in life, I would switch to a second medication that was more generic; which had lesser side effects. Recently, I have been on a third type of medication, which also has its own side effects.  However, all the medication has aided in improving my mental health.

Originally, one year into the first medication, I would switch schools to Palmer Secondary. I would receive tutoring in school to help improve my grades. I find the school easier and my grades improved. Yet, I was scared that I would not graduate. In my grade 12 year, I decided to do mathematics 12. I wanted to keep my options open for business, but I was inspired more from my studies in History 12 and Law 12. My grades improved and I would get a provincial scholarship and an award from my school for overcoming obstacles.

I would go to Kwantlen College. I excelled at school and would be on the Dean Honour Roll for one of the semesters. I would isolate myself from my friends and only focus on school. Then, I would transfer to Simon Fraser University. At that time, I was introduced to a psychologist, as well as new psychiatrist. I was told to become physically active and started to go to gym. I would joined the Muslim Student Association and become even more religious. It would also help motive me in school. I also become active in the Palestine Human Rights Committee and Political Student Society Union. I would also work at Simon Fraser as an alumni fund raiser and graduation usher. In university, I would start to read book during breaks at school. I would read books on political warfare to economic recession from religion to philosophy. In addition, when I was at university, I would read the news on the Globe and mail, New York Times, and the Washington Post. With my Illness, I had trouble reading; however, it improved due to medication. At Simon Fraser, I would become motivated to try and become a corporate lawyer. I would volunteer at the family and youth court.

At university, I learned to multitask where I would balance my lifestyle between studying and keeping mentally and physically healthy. Moreover, I would also learn many skills, such as social, organizational, communicative skills; which all aided in my recovery.
As entered my mid-twenties, I would travel more often. When I travel, there tends to be a lot of anxiety. However, I enjoyed the experience. I like meeting people. Sometimes, as I interact with too many people, I would become less energetic and tired. This is part of the negative symptoms of Schizophrenia.

After, I graduated from Simon Fraser and went to University of British Columbia. I would study education and business, but never graduate. I felt embarrassed, felt sad, and felt pessimistic about life. After a while, I would realize that there will success and some setbacks as I become older.

At the second last year of Simon Fraser University, I would join the Mental Health Team in Richmond. I would meet with a new psychiatrist as well as another social worker. I was a casual member who played hockey, and be part of a walking group. I also took part in recovery group programs. After University of British Columbia, I would join Richmond Centre of Disability. They help me find a newspaper carrier job and also I would become a youth intern for them. It was an eight month internship. They also helped me find a volunteer work at Special Olympics Richmond, which I did for one year. Recently, I have joined Pathways as a volunteer for the Upstairs Unit. I tend to have dinner and take part in social events. I realized I enjoy working in non-for-profit organizations. Importantly, I find it a good fit for myself. At Pathways, I also have done yoga, badminton, and fitness training. More recently, I have been going to the gym where I do weights and cardio. I have done various types of fitness activities that have helped me keep a healthy mindset. I find that exercise have given me a break from the anxieties of life. It has assisted me in taking initiative and also motivating myself to do the daily life routines.

In summary, my life has been filled with challenges and anxiety. Originally, I was told by my support group not to talk about my mental illness. However, I have started to tell more people and my support group has gotten larger. It is hard to find people I trust due to the stigma that the illness brings. However, my family and friends have encouraged me and I have never felt alone.

Recently, I am motived to study and improve my grades to try to become lawyer. Also, I have learned to keep optimistic and to learn from my mistakes. I have discovered to be realistic about my goals. I believe my mental illness has made me stronger. I also realize it may be a long journey. I learn it is important to have an active lifestyle. Additionally, I find it important to contribute to society by either volunteering or working. The illness has provided me with sense of integrity and a feeling of humility about myself.  I find I have lived a fulfilling life during my recovery.