Mark

Prior to my injury I had a good life. In a matter of a few weeks, I lost everything. My home with all my possessions, my family and friends, my power of attorney, my ability to make music and soon after I began to lose my mind. It was like a nightmare, except from this nightmare I couldn’t wake up. At first, there was so little improvement that my doctors didn’t have much optimism. My family didn’t believe that I’d get better and I didn’t think it would ever be possible for me to have a “normal” life. Inside, I was a broken and frightened man.

In the two years that followed I struggled with insomnia and severe depression. I saw many doctors and often I was over medicated. When I did go out, it was with a special group. One of the worst things that I encountered was that people automatically assumed that because I couldn’t speak, I was mentally challenged. It was frustrating and demoralizing and many times I felt like giving up. I didn’t want to continue this miserable existence.

All that started to change in 2003 when I heard about Pathways. When I joined the Clubhouse, it became my new therapy and my new family. The first time I walked through the doors of Pathways, I was delighted. Here was a place for me to come and a place for me to belong. I met many special people who, without any judgment or discrimination, helped me. People like Sue Knight, Cory Tymich, Norm Conrad, Suzanne Kennedy and many others. Slowly, with their assistance, I began to pick up the pieces of my shattered life.

By then, my father could no longer take care of me. So when I didn’t have a place to live,Pathways helped me to move into a group home where I lived for 9 months. I started to attend the Clubhouse every day for lunch and to get involved in the Work Ordered Day. It was an important step of my recovery. I started to connect with people and to make friends.

I would like to say something about the programs that Clubhouse offers and how they helped with my recovery. The Work Ordered Day gave me a sense of purpose and helped me to rebuild my confidence. Pathways accepted me for who I was. They helped me to focus on my abilities rather than my disabilities. The Work Ordered Day gave me the opportunity to use my hands again and to get involved with other members. At the time, this was the best therapy for me. At the clubhouse,I was always encouraged to better myself and I did. Within a couple of years, despite the doubts of Dave and Sue, I regained my driver’s license and now drive the Clubhouse Van, moving music gear and helping members to move.

One important step in my recovery had to do with getting a job. I remember when I first met Sue Knight, and she saw how depressed I was. She told me “Things will get better, and some day you’ll be able to talk again and maybe even have a job”. I thought, yeah, right. Having a job was the farthest thing from my mind, but she was absolutely right. When I began my first Transitional Employment job at Heatherbrae, my recovery had taken a whole new turn. All of the sudden I was given a responsible position, a job that I could call my own, plus I was getting a real paycheck and that was a great feeling. I was becoming a somebody. Now if people would ask me “What do you do for a living”? I had an answer, instead of feeling small and inadequate. Before you can accomplish something you have to believe you are worthy, and the Transitional Employment Program gave me that. I went on to work at many other sites after that. Now, I volunteer at VAMS Studio at GF Strong rehabilitation center, I facilitate a music program at Headway Centre for Brain Injury, I also volunteer at the Richmond Food Bank.

For me, “Music is the medicine of the mind.” It is what my feelings sound like. During my isolation, music was my only escape. It sustained me through this difficult period. Music became my doctor, and I listened to my doctor. Although at the time I couldn’t physically play music because my hands didn’t work, I was still creating it inside my head. And because I couldn’t speak, it was easier for me to communicate through music. Eventually, through music, I was able to reconnect to the world around me.

Pathways gave me the opportunity to share the joy of music with Clubhouse members and to form our Clubhouse band called “Tripolar.” Pathways provided rehearsal space, equipment and transportation. The band has grown and been together for the past 5 years. It made a music video featuring our Pathways Song and performed for many community events. It gives me great pleasure to see Pathways members showcasing their talents and it’s very therapeutic for all of us. I am able to use both hands on the keyboard now, and have started to play bass guitar again.

The magic of music is just that. Before we start playing, we have to deal with problems and illnesses, but when we play together they disappear for a while. “Music washes our souls from the dust of everyday life”

I met a lot of wonderful people at Pathways, but the one that stands out the most is my dear friend Carmen Gaylard. Carmen helped me in many ways through the years. Her compassion and kindness were my inspiration to get better. Her wonderful family adopted me and I’m very happy to say, that she just became a Grandma and she is here tonight. In May of 2010, with Carmen’s nomination, I was presented with the Courage to Come Back Award in physical rehabilitation. Receiving this was a great honour for me, and knowing that my story is an inspiration to others, who face challenges in their lives, gives me great joy.

It’s been said that, “Time heals all wounds.” Obviously the guy that said that, didn’t have my wounds, but never the less, 7 years has gone by since I joined Pathways. Ladies and gentleman, today I stand before you, a new and improved man. I have a new meaningful life filled with happiness. I get to help others and I’m surrounded by people who show me lots of love. Pathways literally helped save my life and I’m living proof of how important their work is. For this, I am very grateful, thank you.